Just Say “Thank You”

Several years ago, I went to a small concert with a couple of friends. I had been to many concerts in my life but never one like this. It was called a house show. Maybe you’ve heard of those or have even been to a few yourself, but I hadn’t.

Apparently, what makes a concert a house show is when it takes place in a small setting with a very limited number of people. That was definitely the case here. There were maybe eighty people at this show.

Another interesting thing about this concert was where it happened. It was in a bar on a street well known for its reputation of hosting very raucous parties. It was the first time I’d ever set foot in a bar, but I didn’t mind so much. In fact, I thought it seemed like a pretty good idea. Why not get together and listen to a guy sing songs about God’s incredible love in a place where that kind of thing probably wasn’t happening all too often?

Occasionally throughout the show someone would shout the name of one of the artist’s songs. While not unusual at a concert, fans offering up requests I mean, this guy’s reply was different.

Each time someone made their request the singer would stop singing or halt the song he was about to begin. He would find the person in the small crowd, his gaze quickly searching out the one making the request. He would look them in the eye and without fail say, “Thank you.”

Wait a second? “That’s not how that’s supposed to work.” I thought the first time this happened. I was used to two reactions to this scenario. Artists kind of ignoring requests completely or the request becoming lost in the noise of the moment. Occasionally, they make vague suggestions about why they won’t be doing the song. I mean I get it. They probably have a well-rehearsed plan.

Not this guy. He stopped what he was doing. He acknowledged the moment and the person. And he offered his sincere thanks. It was his way of showing appreciation to the person who was a big enough fan of his life’s work to request specific pieces of that work. Every time someone asked him to play this song or that song, instead of playing the song he made it a personal moment between two friends.

This artist wasn’t doing it business as usual. He wasn’t hiding behind the big smoke and lights, even though those things can be incredibly fun for someone in his position. He was there. He was present. He was with all of us. And when a request was made it wasn’t an interruption, an annoyance, or a detour. It was an opportunity. It was a chance to show the true nature of his art. It was a moment for intentional beautiful human connection.

I’m no artist, but I know how I usually respond to interruptions. They drive me nuts. There’s a lot of opportunity for interruptions at the King Casa.

I have four little kids in my house. They are awesome kids. So, I guess in some small way I am an artist because they are certainly masterpieces. But let’s be honest, my wife gets most of the credit for that. Still, I live a life full of wonder, miracles, and joy. Not because every moment is some kind of story book wonder, but because the rhythm and cadence of my days are filled with the joy of fatherhood’s many adventures.

What I’m trying to get better at is stopping to acknowledge each request. To look my kids in the eye. To say thank you. And to mean it.

There are three little boys and a baby girl in Arkansas who think I rock. They think life is my stage. Every day the spotlight shines bright on my life. How I respond makes the loudest of proclamations.

When I don’t stop to say thanks it's usually because I don’t think I have time to dabble in whatever they have concocted. But like one guy said and a million more have repeated “The days are long, but the years are short.” In other words, the truth is I don’t have time not to respond.

These early years are magic. They are wondrous. They are opportunities for intentional miracles. If I will only stop to say, “Thank you.”

I need Ethan, Jon, Matty, and Anna to know how thankful Daddy really is for them. For their interest and joy. I need them to know their interruption is the most artful part of my day.

Do you see the pattern? I. NEED. THEM.

We need some holy interruptions to snap us out of our plan. Wake us up to the moment. And point us toward the opportunity of a lifetime. The request may only come once. Or may only come for a season.

My house is my show. I don’t want to be the most important. I don’t want to be the boss. I don’t want to be the “lord.” I don’t even want to be the king no matter what my birth certificate says. I want to be famous. But I want to be famous for the way I love my family. I want to be known for the full-throttled way I lean into interruptions that matter. I want to be famous for thank you.

Tomorrow I will blink and then suddenly it will seem like many years have passed. My last little one will be walking out my front door to step into her own adventure. She’ll do it in the way she chooses.

I want all of them to choose well. I want them to know their value, their strength, and just how much Daddy loves them. I want them all to know I am and always will be thankful. It’s on me to help them learn to live their best life smack dab in the middle of outrageous love.

I have always liked using the language of fatherhood to talk about God. It’s an easy concept for me to gravitate toward because my dad is amazing. I know that’s not the case for everyone. These days it’s not even the case for most kids being born. I am one of the lucky, no—not lucky—BLESSED, ones. I want my kids to be one of the blessed ones. But I’m the one ultimately deciding that.

Another singer named Chris I really admire has a popular song talking about the good, good father we have in God. I really like that. He is good. He is our father.

I’ve known a lot of folks over the years who made talking to God a big chore. They peppered it with big words and theatrical stuff. But Jesus talked about prayer with his friends once. He said we just need to show up and be open and honest. We can just talk plainly to God.

Our prayers don’t need a stage. They don’t need lights and smoke. They don’t need the big show or the grand gestures. They just need a son or a daughter and a dad. They just need an expression of thanks.

There are probably a lot of reasons why we are intimidated when it comes to prayer. For some of you just the thought of speaking out your inner stuff to a great big God is too lofty to get your head around. Some don’t even believe in God at all. For others, God doesn’t seem like a very good dad—because yours was such a lousy example.

Real prayer isn’t complicated. Leave the complicated stuff to the fakers. Ignore their show. It’s smoke and mirrors. They love the spotlight.

Instead, learn how to open your heart to a good good father. He is your biggest fan. He is good.

That can be a hard truth to accept. Often it might seem like God would have too much on his plate for my request. But, what I see as an interruption, God sees as the most artful part of his day. Why? Because he’s still working on me.

I am learning to let my needs have their moment. This happens when I just say it out loud. It’s not fancy. “God, I need you to help me with …” or “God, I am feeling bummed about …” and also a good dose of “God, thank you so much for …”

God leans forward when we make our request known. He’s not annoyed at the interruption. Why? Because he can literally do all the things—at the same time. We just have to say them.

God’s not annoyed at you. He welcomes the interaction. As I student of God’s love I am learning how to say them more. I’m covering them all in a big dose of “Thank you.” These days I know the words are echoed in the love of a good father and the life he is helping me learn to live.

Parent Stuff: The Weight of Grace

 In 2011 I had the incredible opportunity to travel to the Arkansas State Capitol at the invitation of then Lieutenant Governor Mark Darr. My responsibility that day was to open the afternoon session of the 88th Assembly of the Arkansas State Senate in prayer. I had thought long and hard about the words I would pray over those important lawmakers. Here is an excerpt from the prayer I prayed that day.

"God, my fervent hope today is that you would help them to continue to hear—not just the voice of their constituents, but your voice as well. God grant them the wisdom to make sound decisions and the discernment to understand the far-reaching implications of those decisions."

I don't remember what was on the docket for the day. But I know that each man and woman in that chamber was responsible for representing a body of people they had chosen to serve. Their actions—no matter how small, or even seemingly insignificant, carried weight. What they discussed, conclusions reached, votes cast. It all mattered. It all made a difference. The molding of the law was akin to working the clay of civilized society.

What about you? In your world you may be the lawmaker. You may be making the rules of the house. You might be passing down mandates and dictating decisions that shape the days, months, or years to come. If you're a parent or guardian of a child you better believe this is true.

Your every decision, reaction, omission, and word have weight. The things you do will echo in the future of your child. The things you don't do will echo just as loudly! The point I'm trying to make is that you have a responsibility. It is holy. It is God-given. It is authority. It is blessed. It is vital.

The implications of your every action are so important. I wish I could say I always get it right. I love my boys so much. But not an hour ago I was sending my three-year-old off to bed with a much harsher tone than was probably necessary. 

Parents, do you feel the weight of the life you hold in your hands? I hope so. Does it keep you up at night sometimes? I hope so. I think it should.

Now. Stop holding your breath. Unclench a little bit. Relax. Breathe deep. After all, you're not perfect. Yes, your every action and inaction as a parent matters. But you're never going to get it all right. But guess what? It's alright. After all, who better to guide you through your imperfectness as a parent than the perfect parent?

Ask God to help. Go ahead. Ask him right now, I'll wait.

Now, doesn't that feel a little bit better. Ok,maybe it doesn't yet. But long before you became responsible for guiding this little human being through the obstacle course of life God set your memories into motion. The first steps, the first fight, the crying, joy, gladness, serenity, and taxing anxiety of parenthood...God has already experienced all of it, for everyone, ever. Whoa!

He's right there in the middle of your mess waiting for you to ask him to make it better. I love my boys "to the moon and back again" as one of our favorite bedtime stories goes, but I'm so far short of the perfect parent.

Thank God I've got God. He's in the mix. He's helping in the moments when I want to duct tape my son to his bed and scream at the wall. He's there rejoicing when I get it right! He's there when my heart hurts over a poor decision I have made. After all, there's grace for that.

Yes, there are far reaching implications for your every action but God's actions can reach farther than yours. There is a weight to grace.

Praying with Peter for Protection, Perspective, and Promise

So I just couldn't avoid the alliteration. Praying is something we could all use more of and my goal for 2014 is to pray more scripture over my house, child, spouse, and life. So I am sharing my first few prayers for the year which are from 1 Peter 1. I love reading about the disciple Pete. He went from being the knuckle-head fisherman following Jesus—to the missionary who preached at the Day of Pentecost proclaiming Jesus as Messiah with such boldness and passion that the mocking crowd changed their hearts, asking "what should we do?" When Peter instructed them to repent and be baptized, 3000 people were added to "their number." I say their number (which is how Luke recorded it in Acts 2) because they weren't a "church", movement, religion, or even Christians yet. They were still just a group of Disciples. So let that sink in, from knuckle-head fisherman to church planter (literally planting The Church not just a church) in a few years. I think there might be some weight in what the Holy Spirit wrote through him in his first recorded letter, 1 Peter.

So here goes three things we can pray from 1 Peter.

Protection: [from 1 Peter 1:3-5]

Praise You God! Thank You for Your mercy and living hope that draws ______ to You. Through their faith and Your power, God shield and keep careful watch over. ______.

Perspective: [from 1 Peter 1:6-7]

Even through their trials and suffering, God allow ___________ to rejoice greatly knowing these are required to produce genuine faith of great worth! Let their faith be proven and cause much praise, glory, and honor.

Promise: [from 1 Peter 1:8]

By faith (without seeing You) let ________ love You! Let them believe in You and filled with inexpressible and glorious joy for their salvation. Lord let their faith lead them to salvation in You!

Definitely what I want for my son: salvation, eternal perspective, and protection from Satan's schemes. Will you pray these with me in your homes this week?

I am not here to debate the logics of praying scriptures, whether we should or shouldn't, if the version matters, if you have to quote the Bible verbatim (kinda hard if you don't speak Greek or Hebrew anyways), etc. I am in no way qualified or interested. But I believe praying scriptures answers the questions 1) what should I pray and 2) am I praying according to God will. I also believe praying God's Word from our heart and mouth draws our spirit closer to God and teaches us more about the character of God as we proclaim His promises in the lives around us.

Jamie

September 16 - I Am He

John 18:1-11

When Jesus said to them, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground. (John 18:6 ESV)

Armed men showed up with a secret team in the middle of the night to arrest Jesus. He had withdrawn to a secluded place he often visited for a time of private prayer and preparation with a chosen few of his followers. They came seeking him—knowing who he was, his reputation, and his power.

Jesus identified himself when the armed force asked for him. As he did they withdrew from him and fell before him on the ground. They were tripping all over themselves, taken aback by the power of his identity and his declaration. Why?

Because their reasons for approaching him were corrupt, whereas he was holy. Their power was founded on the broken rules of men, and his was seated in the foundations of heaven. Their identity existed based on the controlling fear of their office, while Jesus' identity echoed from across eternity as the Son of God.

The identity of the Son of God bears weight. So much so that his life, death, and resurrection irrevocably altered the destiny of the universe. It was enough to make a mob fall over themselves, it was enough to confound the religious hypocrites, and it is enough to forever change the direction of our lives.

September 15 - Pray

Luke 22:39-46

And when he came to the place, he said to them, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation.” (Luke 22:40 ESV)

There are books on prayer, sermons on prayer, and countless opinions on prayer. Jesus told his followers as he was going off to pray for strength for the difficulties to to come, that they should pray. If Jesus told his disciples to pray there was a good reason. One we can learn from.

Why would Jesus tell his followers to pray? He wanted them to ask God for the same kind of strength he was looking for. He wanted them to be ready. He wanted them to overcome the temptations just around the corner.

Temptation can be stifling. If you haven't positioned yourself for the battle it can be nearly impossible. Prayer is something we can do that sets us up for success. Why? It isn't magic. If you approach it as such your results may not be what you were hoping for. However, if you remember it as the relational interaction between Father and child that it actually is, then you will be encouraged, strengthened, and prepared to face down temptation.

September 14 - Asleep on the Job

Mark 14:32-42

And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, “Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour?" (Mark 14:37 ESV)

I'm not overly fond of sleep. It usually strikes me as a huge waste of time. I do a lot of my writing at night just before bed. This is also when I do a good bit of reading and study. I'm just wired a little differently and tend to think more clearly in the moments leading up to slumber. However, there are times when I hit my pillow and feel sleep begin to edge it's way in. This doesn't discount my eagerness to tackle my daily routine of reading, writing, and study, my spirit is indeed eager and willing; but sometimes my flesh is weak.

I wonder, how often do we find ourselves asleep at the wheel? What garden has Jesus drawn you into? Where has He asked you to post up for prayer, to sit, and pray, and watch? Did you fall asleep on the job? Sometimes we shut our eyes and drift away, even as our destiny is unfolding just a few feet away. It's not an issue of unwillingness or disbelief, it's a matter of laziness. What if we didn't fall asleep on the job?

Jesus, Help me to love you, to listen to you, and to follow you better. Lead me into the garden of your choosing. Strengthen me to stay the course. Embolden me to zeal for your charge, your love, and your will. Amen.

May 18 - They Could Not

Read: Matthew 17:14-20

And I brought him to your disciples, and they could not heal him." (Matthew 17:16 ESV)

Jesus was well-known and highly regarded for his many miraculous deeds. People came from all over the region to be ministered to and healed by the Lord. Jesus even passed along that authority and power to his disciples. But for some reason they were unable to heal the epileptic.

It must have been an utterly defeating moment for the boy's parents. All of their hopes were riding on the disciples' willingness and ability to minister to their son. And they the disciples fell short. They could not do it.

How often do we fail those who are looking to us for answers? I know I do frequently. But the truth is that I just miss the mark sometimes. And usually my issue is the same as that of the disciples. Usually when I miss it, it is a faith problem.

Jesus said that with just the tiniest measure of authentic faith the impossible becomes probable. That is bewildering to say the least. It challenges us right at the root of the issue. Is the supernatural real? Jesus believed it was so. He believed that a true position of faith had the ability to change things.

Yes, I have failed. And will probably do so again. Someone will come to me needing prayer, counsel, or biblical instruction and I will let them down. I will do my best, and it won't be good enough. They will need more, and Jesus is there to meet their need. Because even when Christ's followers cannot, he most definitely can.

April 27 - Ask Dad

Read: Matthew 7:7-11

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? (Matthew 7:9 ESV)

My father has always been the hardest working man I have ever known. Growing up he always provided for me whatever I needed, and a lot of what I asked for. You know what? Never once in my childhood do I remember my dad giving me a rock when I asked him for something to eat. It didn't happen.

The thought of sitting down at the dinner table to find a plate full of pebbles, or a granite slab as the main course, is utterly ridiculous. Stones are not food. God may not answer our prayers exactly the way we would like for Him to, but I have yet to see Him answer a prayer by giving me something that has no chance of meeting my need.

Jesus was specific in his teaching on this subject. God is a better dad than I am. He is a better dad than yours. And He knows how to give good gifts. He doesn't do a bait and switch. He doesn't substitute the inedible for the edible. No, God answers exactly in the way that He needs to. Every time.

And the thing to take away from all of this is that we really can ask God. Whatever the situation is, Jesus compels us, that we should take it to the Father. The older I get the more I am completely convinced of this. Ask our Divine Dad. Be persistent. Get on your knees. Pray humbly, passionately, and regularly. Just ask Him.

March 14 - All Night

Read: Luke 6:12-16

In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. (Luke 6:12 ESV)

Jesus had a big decision to make: Out of all the people that had started following him, who would become his apostles? To help him choose he did what we frequently see him do, he prayed. It wasn't a short prayer. It was a token acknowledgement of a scenario that was too large for him. It was an earnest search for guidance.

In the past my wife and I had a student that would ask to use our guest room as a place of prayer at night so as not to disturb his roommate. I nearly always obliged as these requests always came in the midst of a pressing situation in his life. In fact I have always admired his willingness to spend such a long time seeking God's guidance in the meaningful matters of life, as well as his faith in believing that he can hear from the Father in a way that is practical enough to act upon.

That's what Jesus did on the mountain that night. He prayed for an urgent need. He deliberated in the Spirit for quite a long time. He allowed God to guide him in a specific direction and he acted upon it.

What would it take for us to pray like that? I have to admit I rarely spend that kind of time in deliberate prayer. What kind of difference would it make in our decision making? When faced with life's tough choices would it make those choices easier? Perhaps not, but I believe that even in the most difficult of situations it would afford a measure of peace.