perspective

When the Adventure You Want Is not the One You Get

silhouette_of_people_standing_on_ground_during_sunset-scopio-5ccf8996-6499-4a4b-b664-f95a6de712f3.jpg

At 6:34 am I rolled over to get out of bed. Not my bed though. A rented bed. We were on vacation.

I usually ignored my phone in the morning. The world doesnʼt deserve tolerating me before at least two cups of coffee. Tuesday was different. Maybe I was just out of my routine. Vacationed.

We picked the cabin we stayed in for many reasons. One of our favorite things about it is a total lack of cellular phone reception. AT&T hasnʼt discovered our little cabin by the creek, deep in the Ozarks. Paradise. But then I checked my phone.

Apparently iMessage can go where even Big Comm isnʼt welcomed as long as there is WiFi. Yes, our mountain escape paradise has WiFi.

Who would text me at five oʼclock in the morning? Mom. “Brian is at the hospital. They are admitting him.” My brother was fighting cancer and things had taken a turn for the worse. I spent the next two hours contacting people asking them to pray.

The kids had woken up. They were excited about the hike Jamie had planned for the first day of our illustrious hillbilly getaway. We were out on the porch picking at our pop tarts when I remembered something inside we needed for our adventure.

I went to get it—only to discover the door was locked. The glass door. The one without a keypad. All the doors with keypads were still dead bolted because we hadnʼt used them yet. *insert facepalm emoji*

What did we do? We loaded up the van with children and adventurous expectations. What could go wrong?

We travelled miles down the kind of road my dad used to take me down as a kid. The kind Burt Reynolds and Elisa Dushku would have been terrified to discover in their hillbilly horror movies. Why? We were looking for the trailhead to an obscure waterfall Jamie had found online. It was the kind of adventure where the only living things you expect hope to see are trees and squirrels.

At 10:30 am we piled out of the van and had a picnic on the ground. As we concluded our meal we readied ourselves to head into the bush. Then I heard something that changed everything. It sounded like a roar.

In rolled a thunderous biker gang like the Hillbilly Sons of Hell.

Just kidding.

The roar was more of a whisper. And the news being whispered was our impending flat tire. Yikes. The air was steadily leaking out. I suddenly regretted taking my really nice floor jack out of the van to make more room for Ethanʼs Pokémon Cards.

Did we even have a jack? Did we have a spare tire? Holy Goodyear, Batman. We did.

We jacked up the car. We replaced the faulty rubber with our pristine donut. Sure we had to convince Matty he couldnʼt take a bite out of it, but we got it on. It looked better suited for a lawnmower than a Dodge Caravan, but what did I know about tires? Covering our tiny wheel in prayer and absurd expectations we drove back at half the speed of smell.

Several careful miles, and what felt like hours, later we were at a tire shop. While awaiting our turn, Uncle Brian called from the hospital. Had our tire not deflated weʼd have missed the call. Jon prayed for him over the phone. It was one of the most tinder serene moments Iʼve ever experienced.

The people at the shop were colorful and friendly. The Salt of the Earth kind of people I am more comfortable around than almost anyone else in this world. The proprietor reminded me so much of my late father-in-law I was instantly at ease. Except for the dog.

There was a beautifully obese brown lab lying six inches from where they had jacked up our van. I was pretty sure it was dead. I wanted to check for a pulse but didnʼt know where to find one on such a fat dog. I looked to see if it was breathing. Nothing. Stuff was leaking out of its head. Nevermind. It was just an abundance of drool mixing with abandoned motor oil. Then the metallic squeal of a torqued lug nut seemed to resurrect the dead dog with a twitch.

IMG_8982.jpeg

Jamie and I rested in the shade of an old oak tree surrounded by older tires and our four playing children. Thunder boomed. For real this time. But the promised storm played out like presidential campaign promises and fizzled fast.

Soon the mechanic walked over to announce our car was finished, “I donʼt know where yʼall went, but I wouldnʼt go back ifʼn I were you.”

“Wouldnʼt go back...” I started, which he took as a question.

“Yeah, man. Ya had eight staples in one tire and a nailʼn tha other one. But we patched ‘em both up for ya. Thatʼll be ten bucks.”

As in ten dollars? I couldnʼt believe it. I handed him a twenty and we drove away. That feeling Iʼd had since 11 am, the one promising impending nervous vomiting, finally went away.

What did we do to celebrate? Ice cream of course.

We found a local ice cream shack. Walked to a nearby park. And stuffed ourselves until frozen dairy comas felt imminent.

We drove back to our cabin. The realtor helped us get back inside. And, after hot dogs, and a giant glass of Gatorade we played in the creek until sunset. And we did it all together.

Bumps in the road arenʼt a lot of fun. Flat tires, disappointments, and certainly cancer are enough to ruin anyoneʼs day. Iʼve let a lot less ruin my share of the calendar.

Missed expectations, like missed turns, take us where we didnʼt plan to go. Sometimes going forward feels like a slow drive on a tiny misfit tire. Often it feels like nervous hurl trying to climb the back of your throat. Itʼs a sure sign something went sideways. Youʼll know youʼre there when life starts to feel upside down.

When I get upside down over something itʼs almost always because I tried tackling it solo. Solo is rarely the best adventure. Together is always a better adventure.

Whatever surprising adventure smacks your agenda embrace it with both arms. And then invite all the arms at your address to lean in and get some of the action. Life is gonna toss you a lemon more often than youʼd like. When it happens, donʼt just make lemonade. Make enough for two. Adventures are sweeter that way.

IMG_8981.jpeg

Love: More or Less

 The cashier looks at us and says the words everyone hopes to hear standing in the checkout line. "I'll take the next in line over here" as she opens a new lane.

A man and his wife cut in front of our family at the grocery store. I'm holding my six month old son, he's crying, having exhausted all patience for this place. My oldest son is bouncing from rack to rack begging for candy. My wife has had a LONG week. Sick kids, crazy work stress, the pressures of ministry. How do we react?

Love. But it doesn't feel very lovely. In fact I have a rare talent for opening my mouth at all of the wrong times. And this is one of those times when I absolutely want to. But I don't. Truthfully it won't hurt us to wait a couple of more minutes—and I don't know what is going on with this young couple that they feel the need to rush in front of a dozen or so other people. 

Now, don't confuse love in this situation with quiet, or passiveness. In fact, never confuse love with quiet or passiveness. Sometimes loving someone means making A LOT of noise and getting right in their face to tell them the hard thing they need to hear. 

I work with people. Most of us do. I see people, talk to people, and help people daily. If I don't love them how can I fulfill what I believe to be my life's purpose? Really that's what this idea boils down to for me. 

Every day, in every situation, we have a choice to make regarding each person we interact with. We can choose to love them more, or love them less. 

Loving them more could mean extending grace, holding back judgement, and offering goodwill, but it could also mean correction or confrontation. We have to decide that. You know, like that famous Disney cricket from the 20th century said, "Let your conscience be your guide."

What does it mean to love people less? Well, don't we see the fruits of this on a regular basis? War and violence, disrespect and discord. 

In the absence of love there will be the presence of something. Some emotion. Some thoughts or feelings. I choose to fill my heart and thoughts with love toward others. I don't always get it right. But I'm aiming to love more, not less.

What about you? It's not a one time sweeping decision. It's an every day—every interaction—kind of decision. Choose. Because you can. Choose to love more, not less.

Thanks for reading,

Nate

Praying with Peter for Protection, Perspective, and Promise

So I just couldn't avoid the alliteration. Praying is something we could all use more of and my goal for 2014 is to pray more scripture over my house, child, spouse, and life. So I am sharing my first few prayers for the year which are from 1 Peter 1. I love reading about the disciple Pete. He went from being the knuckle-head fisherman following Jesus—to the missionary who preached at the Day of Pentecost proclaiming Jesus as Messiah with such boldness and passion that the mocking crowd changed their hearts, asking "what should we do?" When Peter instructed them to repent and be baptized, 3000 people were added to "their number." I say their number (which is how Luke recorded it in Acts 2) because they weren't a "church", movement, religion, or even Christians yet. They were still just a group of Disciples. So let that sink in, from knuckle-head fisherman to church planter (literally planting The Church not just a church) in a few years. I think there might be some weight in what the Holy Spirit wrote through him in his first recorded letter, 1 Peter.

So here goes three things we can pray from 1 Peter.

Protection: [from 1 Peter 1:3-5]

Praise You God! Thank You for Your mercy and living hope that draws ______ to You. Through their faith and Your power, God shield and keep careful watch over. ______.

Perspective: [from 1 Peter 1:6-7]

Even through their trials and suffering, God allow ___________ to rejoice greatly knowing these are required to produce genuine faith of great worth! Let their faith be proven and cause much praise, glory, and honor.

Promise: [from 1 Peter 1:8]

By faith (without seeing You) let ________ love You! Let them believe in You and filled with inexpressible and glorious joy for their salvation. Lord let their faith lead them to salvation in You!

Definitely what I want for my son: salvation, eternal perspective, and protection from Satan's schemes. Will you pray these with me in your homes this week?

I am not here to debate the logics of praying scriptures, whether we should or shouldn't, if the version matters, if you have to quote the Bible verbatim (kinda hard if you don't speak Greek or Hebrew anyways), etc. I am in no way qualified or interested. But I believe praying scriptures answers the questions 1) what should I pray and 2) am I praying according to God will. I also believe praying God's Word from our heart and mouth draws our spirit closer to God and teaches us more about the character of God as we proclaim His promises in the lives around us.

Jamie

The Best

I've been in a graduate program at the local university for the last four semesters. What began as a cool way to meet new people has turned into a personal challenge and a fun way to learn new stuff or improve old stuff. Today I turned in a project for class and allowed myself a brief sigh of relief. It was a milestone that marked the halfway point in the semester. Then I realized that there are still five projects that have to be completed. Combined the amount of work left to do easily doubles the amount I have already done. The kicker? I have about half as much time to do it. Have you ever gotten pretty excited about something prematurely? The reality of the situation will let the wind out of your sails. What do you do? For me it means sucking it up, getting extremely intentional about the next six weeks, and doing the best work I have ever done. After all, I'm supposed to be doing everything for the glory of God by giving it my best right? Right?

Have you ever known someone that completely quit on something because it required too much of them? I have been that guy before, but not recently. Not even in the last several years. Why? Because God took a deficiency in me and shaped me through it. Shaped me to embrace difficulty, not welcomingly, but in a way that offers opportunity to exalt Him. To let my love for Him shine through whatever I set my hands to do, by doing my best.

These last several weeks have been gloriously intense. Busy is an understatement. But it's been beautiful. The next six weeks will be even more intense. I am ready. I'm actually pretty excited. The best is yet to come.