Love: More or Less

 The cashier looks at us and says the words everyone hopes to hear standing in the checkout line. "I'll take the next in line over here" as she opens a new lane.

A man and his wife cut in front of our family at the grocery store. I'm holding my six month old son, he's crying, having exhausted all patience for this place. My oldest son is bouncing from rack to rack begging for candy. My wife has had a LONG week. Sick kids, crazy work stress, the pressures of ministry. How do we react?

Love. But it doesn't feel very lovely. In fact I have a rare talent for opening my mouth at all of the wrong times. And this is one of those times when I absolutely want to. But I don't. Truthfully it won't hurt us to wait a couple of more minutes—and I don't know what is going on with this young couple that they feel the need to rush in front of a dozen or so other people. 

Now, don't confuse love in this situation with quiet, or passiveness. In fact, never confuse love with quiet or passiveness. Sometimes loving someone means making A LOT of noise and getting right in their face to tell them the hard thing they need to hear. 

I work with people. Most of us do. I see people, talk to people, and help people daily. If I don't love them how can I fulfill what I believe to be my life's purpose? Really that's what this idea boils down to for me. 

Every day, in every situation, we have a choice to make regarding each person we interact with. We can choose to love them more, or love them less. 

Loving them more could mean extending grace, holding back judgement, and offering goodwill, but it could also mean correction or confrontation. We have to decide that. You know, like that famous Disney cricket from the 20th century said, "Let your conscience be your guide."

What does it mean to love people less? Well, don't we see the fruits of this on a regular basis? War and violence, disrespect and discord. 

In the absence of love there will be the presence of something. Some emotion. Some thoughts or feelings. I choose to fill my heart and thoughts with love toward others. I don't always get it right. But I'm aiming to love more, not less.

What about you? It's not a one time sweeping decision. It's an every day—every interaction—kind of decision. Choose. Because you can. Choose to love more, not less.

Thanks for reading,

Nate

Waiting

Parenthood comes with lots of "waiting" time. This isn't something anyone warns you about. Not saying there's a lot of calm time just waiting.  Waiting at practice, waiting for potty time, waiting on food to cook or cool (isn't that funny that we have to do both).  Waiting at the doc's, waiting for a phone call, waiting...waiting... Waiting.

Maybe that's why pregnancy comes with so much waiting.  Waiting on a positive test result.  Waiting to tell everyone until you're ready. Waiting for nausea to subside. Waiting to find out what you're having.  Waiting at the docs.  Waiting on test results. Waiting on your water to break.  Waiting on contractions.  Waiting to push.  Waiting on birth.

Having had my first child after being induced at almost 42 weeks I did a lot of waiting.  Now here I am waiting again.  God designed pregnancy to be a certain length of time for different creatures.  Why does ours have to be so long?  Why do we have to wait? And why is it so hard?

Waiting can do one of two things to you.  It can exhaust you or revive you.  We have to LEARN to be good "waiters."

Isaiah 40:31 speaks of the good kind of waiting.

31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

But we often see people who react quite differently to the waiting.  Who impatiently demand change or anxiously blame the waiting on something.  What is different?  Okay let's be honest we all are these "bad waiters" sometimes.

So what can we do?  Shift our focus and be content.  Paul talked about learning to be content in all circumstances.  Not accepting of status quo but so rooted in Christ and so trusting of His plan that you can accept what comes your way.  You can search the scripture but Jesus didn't follow a "traditional life schedule," write out a to do list, or whine about the demands of the job.  No he consistently fed those around him and then turned around and spent time with His Father.

So let us focus on serving while we wait. Let us remember the things we allow our minds to dwell on have power in our life.  As Paul wrote:

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. (‭Philippians ‭4‬:‭8-9‬ MSG)

Harmony and peace while waiting.

October 15 - Crown of Thorns

Mark 15:16-20

And they clothed him in a purple cloak, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on him. (Mark 15:17 ESV) </blockquote>

Shortly after my third birthday I was playing in the front yard of the small house my parents rented. As I pushed this small toy truck along at a three-year-old's pace I ran straight through a large rose bush. To this day I still bare the scar on my arm from the deep cut. Because thorns hurt. They cut. And they cut deep.

Christ's cruel tormentors took sadistic pleasure in fashioning their instrument of agony out of thorns and thrusting it upon his brow. I can only truly imagine how horrible it must have been as the sharp points gouged his skin and scraped along the thin covering of the human skull.

Though he was crowned in mockery and brutality—Jesus was a king. Jesus is a King. He is The King. And in him, you and I find adoption into royalty. We find a calling away that lifts us above our own inadequacies, insecurities, and frailties. Jesus bore that crown of thorns so that we might wear a crown of peace.

July 28 - Where Is the Fruit?

Matthew 21:18-22

And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, “May no fruit ever come from you again!” And the fig tree withered at once. (Matthew 21:19 ESV)

Every summer for as long as I can remember my dad has grown watermelons. He grows them by the thousands to sell in the communities nearby. And without fail, when I make a trip to the family farm during July I will be able to see them as I drive onto the property. Why? Because at a watermelon farm I expect to find watermelons.

The story of Jesus and the fig tree can be confusing. Why would Jesus curse a tree for not having fruit? People a lot smarter than me could probably explain it in grandiose theological terms, but I think there is a simple principal to learn. Jesus expected a fruit tree to bear fruit.

Fruit is a word often used to describe the good qualities that result in someone's life as they mature in their relationship with Christ. It is a natural part of Christianity, as natural as finding watermelons in a watermelon patch. When I read about Jesus' frustration with the fruitless fig tree I can't help but think about people claim to be Christian, but evidence no fruit in their lives.

Jesus' expects his followers to demonstrate the attributes that identify them as his followers. Not because by performing or acting a certain way we can earn our salvation, but because being a Christian should cause change in us over time. Just like a peach tree grows peaches, an apple tree apples, or a fig tree figs, Christians should demonstrate the Fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Where is your fruit?

May 15 - Peace Speaker

Read: Matthew 8:23-27; Mark 4:35-41; Luke 8:22-25

And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. (Mark 4:39 ESV)

I have been in a few terrifying storms. It kind of comes with the territory when you live in Arkansas. Still, I have never been in a storm that was so bad I feared for my life. I have also never been stuck out in open water during a storm. As such, it is pretty hard for me to imagine the kind of fear the disciples were experiencing. But, I have been through some pretty trying times in my life. And while I haven't experienced the kind of palpable fear produced by a literal storm, I have weathered a few stormy seasons. I have found myself fearing the precarious nature of my situation. I have found myself asking Jesus to save me from the storm.

Growing up my best friend's mom used to always sing this song talking about Jesus as the peace speaker. It was a beautiful song, but I never really understood the fullness of the words until late in my college career when I entered a very difficult season of life. Jesus was undoubtedly my peace speaker in those days. Even on the days when I was consumed or distracted by the violent environment of my troubles Jesus was working on my behalf. He was speaking peace into my life, into my future, and into my situation.

Looking back on those days now it is hard to imagine having made it through some of life's tough moments without being able to call upon the peace speaker. Like the disciples in the boat, it is reassuring to know that Jesus makes the difference. Also, like the disciples, I can't always understand what Jesus does; but I have found another kind of freedom in not being burdened with the selfish or prideful desire to want to. Jesus speaks peace into chaos and order into confusion. I hope that I can always listen.

March 14 - All Night

Read: Luke 6:12-16

In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. (Luke 6:12 ESV)

Jesus had a big decision to make: Out of all the people that had started following him, who would become his apostles? To help him choose he did what we frequently see him do, he prayed. It wasn't a short prayer. It was a token acknowledgement of a scenario that was too large for him. It was an earnest search for guidance.

In the past my wife and I had a student that would ask to use our guest room as a place of prayer at night so as not to disturb his roommate. I nearly always obliged as these requests always came in the midst of a pressing situation in his life. In fact I have always admired his willingness to spend such a long time seeking God's guidance in the meaningful matters of life, as well as his faith in believing that he can hear from the Father in a way that is practical enough to act upon.

That's what Jesus did on the mountain that night. He prayed for an urgent need. He deliberated in the Spirit for quite a long time. He allowed God to guide him in a specific direction and he acted upon it.

What would it take for us to pray like that? I have to admit I rarely spend that kind of time in deliberate prayer. What kind of difference would it make in our decision making? When faced with life's tough choices would it make those choices easier? Perhaps not, but I believe that even in the most difficult of situations it would afford a measure of peace.