Why We Decided to Homeschool This Year

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EDIT: So many of you have texted or messaged us about this. Thank you for the encouragement. I hope our words have been helpful. We have so much more to say about how we are going to approach homeschool. We will share what we’re learning as we learn it. This includes resources and application. If you’re curious and need help leave a comment with your email address. We’ll follow up with you or you can wait for the next post. God bless all of you.

Update: We wrote up how we chose our curriculum and what it is. You can now find that here.
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This was hard to write. This was also a hard decision to make. Jamie and I almost didn’t make it.  After finally reaching the decision we talked about not writing this. Then I wrote it anyway.

It was hard because we are teachers too. We don’t want to sound like we think we‘re better than those specifically trained to teach our kids. It‘s hard because we grew up with teachers, administrators, and coaches. We have so much admiration, respect, and, yes—love—for them. Educators are the most hardworking and underpaid people in America. If you disagree with that last sentence you’re just flat wrong.

Yet, we still decided to homeschool this year.

To be completely honest, I have never liked the idea of homeschool. Maybe it’s because my dad is a retired teacher. I've been getting up and going to school since 1985. Maybe I haven’t liked it because I’ve known some pretty weird homeschool people. Sure, I’ve known some awesome ones too. But I almost always judged homeschoolers. It’s sad but true.

I know you’re going to think I’m an absolute jerk here, but in the past I thought homeschool was equal parts being bad at algebra and making your own butter. I thought it was what scared ultra-conservatives did to protect their children from the scary indoctrination of woke left wing common core zombies. I had this mental picture of homeschool as a place where everyone had homemade haircuts, shirts, and learning impediments. I thought homeschool was a social and academic bubble for those who can’t handle reality. I know. I know. I’m a jerk.

So, why did we decide to homeschool this year? The reasons are as simple as they are complicated, but I’ll try to explain.

Photo by Agatha Tailor

This is not going to be a typical school year. Before you spout your favorite version of the momentary national bias, stop. I’ve read it. I’ve heard the arguments. I’m not here to argue. I’m presenting our decision making process for how to educate our children. That’s it. 

Jamie and I believe the upcoming school year is going to be a mess. Like an actual train wreck. You remember how you felt halfway through April when you were ready to pull the last hair out of your head. AMI had you so stressed out you developed an involuntary twitch. No? Just me huh.

As parents it’s our sacred obligation to spare our children from situations when we deem it appropriate. Our two school-aged boys will be spared the mess this trip around the sun.

I know our local school district is going to work extremely hard to do their absolute best. They are amazing people. Every one of them. We adore the faculty at our elementary school. The principal is an educational rockstar of the highest order. The mess I think is coming won’t be their fault. I know they would work themselves to the bone to do right by the kids. They love them.

Still, I don’t believe the nature of our educational support systems will be enough. Financially they’ll be stretched like never before. Emotionally and psychologically the load will be more than many, or maybe any, of them have ever endured. And that’s before a kid even gets Covid-19.  

We didn’t make this choice out of fear. We aren’t homeschooling because we don’t trust the teachers. In fact, we are worried about them more than ever before. 

It’s hard to explain to someone who has never been blessed with the burden of a classroom, but we’ve been demanding the impossible from teachers for years. This year is already going off the rails. We are asking educators to now deal with the increased emotional and psychological stress of trying to keep kids safe and healthy. They will be forced to adhere to new guidelines every 72 hours. They may be required to teach full time in the classroom, full time online, and take care of students who are in and out of the classroom. Teachers, we are praying for you. I hope this isn’t the year you walk away from the profession.

We don’t trust the system is capable of carrying out the primary function for which it exists under the present conditions. The education of our children in an emotionally, psychologically and physiologically consistent manner is its primary function.

I don’t see it happening this year. But, man, I hope I’m wrong. I hope it for your kids. Mine will be learning in their PJs around the kitchen table. The morning is for math. Afternoons are for writing, PE, and making butter.

I know homeschool isn’t an option for many people. I’m not here to cast a bad light on anyone sending their kids back in a few weeks. In fact, I’m a giant hypocrite because I’ll be right back in my own classroom teaching university students how not to suck at giving speeches. 

I wish I felt differently about the whole thing. I want my third grader to play basketball with his buddies on the playground and make jokes with his pal Charlie about Dog Man. I also want my kindergartener to get the absolute best start possible in an emotionally stable and consistently healthy environment. 

So this year the King Casa Academy is open for business. In fact, we started about three weeks ago and have the haircuts to prove it. We might be crazy but we aren’t crazy. Yet.

Parent Stuff: The Weight of Grace

 In 2011 I had the incredible opportunity to travel to the Arkansas State Capitol at the invitation of then Lieutenant Governor Mark Darr. My responsibility that day was to open the afternoon session of the 88th Assembly of the Arkansas State Senate in prayer. I had thought long and hard about the words I would pray over those important lawmakers. Here is an excerpt from the prayer I prayed that day.

"God, my fervent hope today is that you would help them to continue to hear—not just the voice of their constituents, but your voice as well. God grant them the wisdom to make sound decisions and the discernment to understand the far-reaching implications of those decisions."

I don't remember what was on the docket for the day. But I know that each man and woman in that chamber was responsible for representing a body of people they had chosen to serve. Their actions—no matter how small, or even seemingly insignificant, carried weight. What they discussed, conclusions reached, votes cast. It all mattered. It all made a difference. The molding of the law was akin to working the clay of civilized society.

What about you? In your world you may be the lawmaker. You may be making the rules of the house. You might be passing down mandates and dictating decisions that shape the days, months, or years to come. If you're a parent or guardian of a child you better believe this is true.

Your every decision, reaction, omission, and word have weight. The things you do will echo in the future of your child. The things you don't do will echo just as loudly! The point I'm trying to make is that you have a responsibility. It is holy. It is God-given. It is authority. It is blessed. It is vital.

The implications of your every action are so important. I wish I could say I always get it right. I love my boys so much. But not an hour ago I was sending my three-year-old off to bed with a much harsher tone than was probably necessary. 

Parents, do you feel the weight of the life you hold in your hands? I hope so. Does it keep you up at night sometimes? I hope so. I think it should.

Now. Stop holding your breath. Unclench a little bit. Relax. Breathe deep. After all, you're not perfect. Yes, your every action and inaction as a parent matters. But you're never going to get it all right. But guess what? It's alright. After all, who better to guide you through your imperfectness as a parent than the perfect parent?

Ask God to help. Go ahead. Ask him right now, I'll wait.

Now, doesn't that feel a little bit better. Ok,maybe it doesn't yet. But long before you became responsible for guiding this little human being through the obstacle course of life God set your memories into motion. The first steps, the first fight, the crying, joy, gladness, serenity, and taxing anxiety of parenthood...God has already experienced all of it, for everyone, ever. Whoa!

He's right there in the middle of your mess waiting for you to ask him to make it better. I love my boys "to the moon and back again" as one of our favorite bedtime stories goes, but I'm so far short of the perfect parent.

Thank God I've got God. He's in the mix. He's helping in the moments when I want to duct tape my son to his bed and scream at the wall. He's there rejoicing when I get it right! He's there when my heart hurts over a poor decision I have made. After all, there's grace for that.

Yes, there are far reaching implications for your every action but God's actions can reach farther than yours. There is a weight to grace.

What I Wish You Knew . . .

We’re selfish. By nature. We don’t understand when others get things we don’t. We don't know why everything can't be fair. And in the classroom, sometimes, I hear a lot of complaining about that. But I am your teacher, and I wish you knew . . .

• That student left class early because they are on the way to a meeting with their oncologist to discuss new treatment options.
• I know who is cheating.  I know how too.  But I also know you will learn a valuable lesson on test day when you can’t cheat and you still have to be able to answer the question. Or, you won't learn that lesson at all and get what you deserve.
• I accepted that student’s homework late because her child has been at Children’s for the last week and a half.
• I ignored that student’s question because I know she missed what I said the last ten minutes of class because she was playing on her phone.
• Your classmate gets to borrow my book because although she bought one she can no longer access it.  Why? Because she had to flee an abusive relationship and left all her possessions in the process.
• That student who seems to be understanding everything in class has spent three hours in my office this week.
• That student wears long sleeves in class because he has had so much blood work this month he looks like an addict.  And they still don’t know what is making him sick.  Please don’t bother him about his clothing choice.
• The reason your classmate cried when they got their paper back is it was their first time taking a test with new accommodations and they just made their first C (their highest grade) on a math test ever.
• That student sleeps in class sometimes because he just finished working four twelve hour shifts.
• I really don’t know where that student in your class went.  They haven’t responded to any of my attempts to contact them and I am very worried.
• I take my job seriously.  I chose this job.  Most week’s I cry more tears for you than my own children.
• You’ll never know the sacrifices my family makes for me to be here.
• You’ll never know what the person beside you is going through.

Maybe that’s a good thing?  I want you to learn to be sympathetic to others without having to know how hard it is for them.  I want you to get to spend your time here without the worries they have.  I want you to know I understand you have bad days too.  Because one day you are going to face the tough stuff.  One day you will understand the struggles of #adulting aren’t wearing pants and paying for your own cell phone. #adulting is having a clear vision of the big picture (the good, the bad, the ugly) and still getting up and putting your pants on.  It’s admitting you can’t do it on your own and submitting every day to the One Who Can.  Oh and it’s praying.  It’s a LOT of praying.

August 14 - Astray

Matthew 24: 3-14

And Jesus answered them, “See that no one leads you astray." (Matthew 24:4 ESV)

When I travel I try to stay really focused. I like to know my destination, try to plan all major stops, and I attempt to avoid distractions. Unfortunately, that kind of focus is not always easy to maintain.

Jesus and his followers were certainly no strangers to traveling. They walked all over the countryside, and rode in ships fairly often as well. They knew what it meant to venture forth with purpose. And that is what Jesus had in mind when he warned his people not be lead astray.

It was a timely warning for the soon-to-be Church leaders. Soon they would be the ones guiding the movement, and Jesus wanted them to keep their heads. It is a timely warning for us as well.

The apostles and disciples had to worry about a lot of people seeking to exploit the burgeoning Christian movement. Today, we must be wary of those who continually attempt to hijack the world's largest religion. There are a myriad of reasons and devices used to misdirect people in pursuit of Spiritual truth. We need to be extra vigilant in discerning who we follow, and how we lead.

Jesus warned that we should be careful not to be lead astray. We want our generation to be good stewards of the Gospel. We do not want to be lead astray, but neither should we want to lead others astray. Lets keep Jesus at the center and love as our motive.

11 Lessons College Teaches Beyond the Classroom

I have worked in college ministry for a decade. My wife teaches at the local university. We were talking about things we see people learn in college outside the classroom. There are many many more things that could have made the list, but here are 11 that came to us pretty quickly.

1. No one but you is going to wake your lazy butt up every day.

2. Time is valuable. You can spend it well or waste it worthlessly.

3. Laundry doesn't do itself.

4. You're responsible for your own actions.

5. Some people like you. Some people don't. Sometimes you'll change that. Sometimes you won't.

6. Math is important. Intro to Film is not.

7. Money doesn't grow on trees, puppies, or hubcaps.

8. The Internet lies, especially Social Media.

9. Choices have consequences and the future is real.

10. Friends that tell the truth, even hard truth, are better than friends that don't.

11. There are more important things than homework, but not very many.