gratitude

Just Say “Thank You”

Several years ago, I went to a small concert with a couple of friends. I had been to many concerts in my life but never one like this. It was called a house show. Maybe you’ve heard of those or have even been to a few yourself, but I hadn’t.

Apparently, what makes a concert a house show is when it takes place in a small setting with a very limited number of people. That was definitely the case here. There were maybe eighty people at this show.

Another interesting thing about this concert was where it happened. It was in a bar on a street well known for its reputation of hosting very raucous parties. It was the first time I’d ever set foot in a bar, but I didn’t mind so much. In fact, I thought it seemed like a pretty good idea. Why not get together and listen to a guy sing songs about God’s incredible love in a place where that kind of thing probably wasn’t happening all too often?

Occasionally throughout the show someone would shout the name of one of the artist’s songs. While not unusual at a concert, fans offering up requests I mean, this guy’s reply was different.

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Each time someone made their request the singer would stop singing or halt the song he was about to begin. He would find the person in the small crowd, his gaze quickly searching out the one making the request. He would look them in the eye and without fail say, “Thank you.”

Wait a second? “That’s not how that’s supposed to work.” I thought the first time this happened. I was used to two reactions to this scenario. Artists kind of ignoring requests completely or the request becoming lost in the noise of the moment. Occasionally, they make vague suggestions about why they won’t be doing the song. I mean I get it. They probably have a well-rehearsed plan.

Not this guy. He stopped what he was doing. He acknowledged the moment and the person. And he offered his sincere thanks. It was his way of showing appreciation to the person who was a big enough fan of his life’s work to request specific pieces of that work. Every time someone asked him to play this song or that song, instead of playing the song he made it a personal moment between two friends.

This artist wasn’t doing it business as usual. He wasn’t hiding behind the big smoke and lights, even though those things can be incredibly fun for someone in his position. He was there. He was present. He was with all of us. And when a request was made it wasn’t an interruption, an annoyance, or a detour. It was an opportunity. It was a chance to show the true nature of his art. It was a moment for intentional beautiful human connection.

I’m no artist, but I know how I usually respond to interruptions. They drive me nuts. There’s a lot of opportunity for interruptions at the King Casa.

I have four little kids in my house. They are awesome kids. So, I guess in some small way I am an artist because they are certainly masterpieces. But let’s be honest, my wife gets most of the credit for that. Still, I live a life full of wonder, miracles, and joy. Not because every moment is some kind of story book wonder, but because the rhythm and cadence of my days are filled with the joy of fatherhood’s many adventures.

What I’m trying to get better at is stopping to acknowledge each request. To look my kids in the eye. To say thank you. And to mean it.

There are three little boys and a baby girl in Arkansas who think I rock. They think life is my stage. Every day the spotlight shines bright on my life. How I respond makes the loudest of proclamations.

When I don’t stop to say thanks it's usually because I don’t think I have time to dabble in whatever they have concocted. But like one guy said and a million more have repeated “The days are long, but the years are short.” In other words, the truth is I don’t have time not to respond.

These early years are magic. They are wondrous. They are opportunities for intentional miracles. If I will only stop to say, “Thank you.”

I need Ethan, Jon, Matty, and Anna to know how thankful Daddy really is for them. For their interest and joy. I need them to know their interruption is the most artful part of my day.

Do you see the pattern? I. NEED. THEM.

We need some holy interruptions to snap us out of our plan. Wake us up to the moment. And point us toward the opportunity of a lifetime. The request may only come once. Or may only come for a season.

My house is my show. I don’t want to be the most important. I don’t want to be the boss. I don’t want to be the “lord.” I don’t even want to be the king no matter what my birth certificate says. I want to be famous. But I want to be famous for the way I love my family. I want to be known for the full-throttled way I lean into interruptions that matter. I want to be famous for thank you.

Tomorrow I will blink and then suddenly it will seem like many years have passed. My last little one will be walking out my front door to step into her own adventure. She’ll do it in the way she chooses.

I want all of them to choose well. I want them to know their value, their strength, and just how much Daddy loves them. I want them all to know I am and always will be thankful. It’s on me to help them learn to live their best life smack dab in the middle of outrageous love.

I have always liked using the language of fatherhood to talk about God. It’s an easy concept for me to gravitate toward because my dad is amazing. I know that’s not the case for everyone. These days it’s not even the case for most kids being born. I am one of the lucky, no—not lucky—BLESSED, ones. I want my kids to be one of the blessed ones. But I’m the one ultimately deciding that.

Another singer named Chris I really admire has a popular song talking about the good, good father we have in God. I really like that. He is good. He is our father.

I’ve known a lot of folks over the years who made talking to God a big chore. They peppered it with big words and theatrical stuff. But Jesus talked about prayer with his friends once. He said we just need to show up and be open and honest. We can just talk plainly to God.

Our prayers don’t need a stage. They don’t need lights and smoke. They don’t need the big show or the grand gestures. They just need a son or a daughter and a dad. They just need an expression of thanks.

There are probably a lot of reasons why we are intimidated when it comes to prayer. For some of you just the thought of speaking out your inner stuff to a great big God is too lofty to get your head around. Some don’t even believe in God at all. For others, God doesn’t seem like a very good dad—because yours was such a lousy example.

Real prayer isn’t complicated. Leave the complicated stuff to the fakers. Ignore their show. It’s smoke and mirrors. They love the spotlight.

Instead, learn how to open your heart to a good good father. He is your biggest fan. He is good.

That can be a hard truth to accept. Often it might seem like God would have too much on his plate for my request. But, what I see as an interruption, God sees as the most artful part of his day. Why? Because he’s still working on me.

I am learning to let my needs have their moment. This happens when I just say it out loud. It’s not fancy. “God, I need you to help me with …” or “God, I am feeling bummed about …” and also a good dose of “God, thank you so much for …”

God leans forward when we make our request known. He’s not annoyed at the interruption. Why? Because he can literally do all the things—at the same time. We just have to say them.

God’s not annoyed at you. He welcomes the interaction. As I student of God’s love I am learning how to say them more. I’m covering them all in a big dose of “Thank you.” These days I know the words are echoed in the love of a good father and the life he is helping me learn to live.

grati--W--O--W--tude

What an EPIC week! Weeks like this are rare indeed.

We had the Grand Opening for the church we have been so privileged to help start here in our hometown. It was crazy. Like awesome crazy. The only way I have been able to describe it to people is that it was "happy chaos".  It wasn't chaotic because we weren't prepared. It wasn't chaotic because anything bad happened. It was chaos because over 910 people showed up...in an ice storm...in Arkansas.  That might not seem like a big deal to you, but in our little River Valley paradise nestled between mountains and the Arkansas River, people just don't get out in the snow and ice.

And last night we launched our student ministries with an incredible night. It was so good. 

So now I'm sitting here in my "mancave" enjoying the breather. I'm looking forward to my weekend (Friday & Saturday) and getting ready to start it all over again in less than 72 hours. Life is so stinking good right now. I feel blessed beyond my capacity to handle it. It pushes me in the best possible ways. And before I head upstairs to get some sleep I am just trying to share this inexplicable sense of gratitude I am feeling.

It's always good to be one of God's kids--but it doesn't always feel this good. 

Vomit, Crying, & Gratitude

Last night was a rough one in the King house. Our 12 month old son Ethan came down with some kind of stomach bug out of the blue. One minute he was happily soaking up Sesame Street with his mommy on the couch and all-of-a-sudden he was vomiting like crazy. Yeah, I know that's gross. Sorry. It was a mess, but that was the least of our concerns. Our little boy was sick. To compound the issue I had to leave for our weekly ministry gathering shortly after the ordeal began. This went on throughout the night. My wife would try to get some fluids in him to prevent dehydration, but his little body would reject them, and up they came. He got splotches on his tummy that indicated the onset of dehydration. It was scary. We prayed a lot. I was largely distracted during our service. My mind kept going back to my little boy. After service was over I made my goodbyes and headed to the pharmacy to get some special juice that is supposed to help with that kind of situation. It did. He drank it, and kept it down. He drank some more, and kept it down.

Jamie and I took turns sitting up with him on the couch throughout the night. We slept sporadically. When morning came it seemed his energy had returned. He laughed, he played a little, and then.... he cried.

It wasn't a cry of pain, or a whimpering wailing of discomfort. It was the kind of short bursting cry that comes from being just a little spoiled, something that I am completely ok with at his age. And while I am usually easily annoyed by prolonged bouts of crying, especially during my more cranky moments, this morning was different. I was grateful. I was just happy he had the energy to cry.

Sometimes something that is annoying, aggravating, or challenging can actually be a reason for rejoicing. Yes, life is sometimes hard, but often our attitude has the power to shape the perception of our experience. Today, I'm grateful for the grace to see with gratitude.