Moms, I Know Sundays Are Harder Now Than Ever

Photo by Quinn Vo

My wife shared her heart with me while we were on vacation a few weeks ago. And I wanted to share it with you. If this encourages you will you share it with someone who could use some encouragement? Thanks! - Nate

I raised my goldfish to the Lord. It wasn’t intentional. I lowered my hand immediately.  Though I thought about putting it back up again. 

You see that’s what my hands are like these days: they are full. And me? Well I’m usually distracted.

I used to think I was alone in my distractions. And then I looked around. Distraction fatigue is everywhere.

But for a moment I forgot the distractions. I forgot the fatigue. I forgot I was shushing a three-year-old. For a moment I wasn’t worried about the trash the five-year-old put on the church floor. Or the fact that the eight-year-old sat down one song earlier than I told him he could. 

I forgot about the toddler strapped to my chest, which hopefully makes the bag of goldfish make sense now. Because for one line of the song. For one short refrain. For five heavenly seconds. I felt the Lord move. I felt blessed. I was thankful to be in the church. So I raised both hands because, in a rare moment, they didn’t have kids in them. 

The toddler in my carrier noticed my inadvertent cheese-dust covered offering, and squealed. And the moment came to an end. You see this season of life doesn’t afford me long talks with Jesus. I don’t get to worship free of worrying over what my kids are doing.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but some people come into a church empty. While others come with their hands full. God says to the empty and the full, “Bring what you have and come.” 

If your heart feels empty because life has gone wonky…come. If you’re empty because relationships have fallen away...bring your emptiness. If you’re bursting at the seams with apprehensions, regret, or indifference … bring all of it and just come.

So, during this season I’m toting hands full of goldfish. Why? Because by the time I walk through the front doors I’m already tired. Just to get there I’ve spent the morning finding everyone’s masks and reminding them to pack a snack. 

By the time we pull into the parking lot I’ve been explaining to my three-year-old that kid church is not open. And, no, we can’t go to Chick-fil-A after service. “How often do I have to repeat this?” I think for the seventh time in a minute. Or maybe that was seven times seven. Either way, it’s a good reminder to forgive myself.

I don’t have to lean on the expectations of a “normal” or “calm” service. The pastor gets it too. These are his kids making a mess on the front row. Literally. 

More importantly God understands my season. God meets me where I am—goldfish and all. Amidst the minutes of mania. Blissfully stalled in the seconds of serenity. Or somewhere in between. He is still God. And He says, “Bring what you have and come.”

If you’re empty, show up and leave with something you need. If you’re full—leave a few things at the threshold. Heaven’s here for you. Our stuff isn’t about to surprise anyone on the other side of eternity. 

When God says, “Bring me wat’cha got.” Do it. Every time. Any time. Do it at the baseball park, and the grocery store. Do it when you’re second hand shopping and pushing a stroller. Do it any day you can. Especially days that end in y. And if you find yourself close to a church on a Sunday, please do it there. Hear it when heaven extends this simple invitation, “Bring what you have and come.”

So I do. I did. And I will again. And when the song hits a lull and you hear a baby crying just look over. You’ll probably see me raise my goldfish to the Lord.

When You Are Frustrated Do This

It wasn’t a typical Monday morning. Not after twenty weeks at home in lock-down mode. School was here. Time to face the music.

We’d already made the decision to homeschool our oldest two. You might have read about that previously. But what about the little ones? What were we to do with our toddlers?

How would we navigate all four kids at home, fulfill all of our professional educational responsibilities, lead our congregation, and not lose our minds. Depends on who you ask. More than a few would say we lost our minds a long time ago. Which brings us back to this atypical Monday morning. 

All of us know what it’s like to be frustrated. There have been whole weeks (recently) when I hung out in frustration for so long I fully expected it to start charging rent.

I was frustrated this particular Monday. Why? Because we had made the choice to send our youngest two back to preschool. Not the source of my frustration. But I couldn’t actually walk them into their rooms. That was the source of my frustration.

I’m not knocking the staff or the school. We love our little preschool. King kids have been dancing down those halls for going on eight years—and before that Jamie taught there. It’s the best preschool in town.

I was frustrated because it was time to let go of something I was hoping I could hold on to for just a little longer. See it was my daughter’s first day.  She is seventeen months old. She has never spent an entire day away from Mommy with a stranger. And I didn’t get to be the one to take her to the stranger.

Did I mention I was frustrated? I was frustrated at the options in front of me. I was frustrated at handing that little pink sippy cup over before I was good and ready. Circumstances had wrenched reality right out of my hand. You’d be frustrated to.

You probably have been. These last few months have been repeatedly frustrating for so many of us. What’s ticking you off lately? It’s probably not hard to figure out. What’s that thing just under the surface that seems to make you simmer inside? Loss? Confusion? Missed-expectations? Your frustrations might come from something else entirely. I get it. We all have them.

We all know what it’s like to be frustrated. Frustration often happens where expectations hit a wall.

There we were standing in the preschool lobby. They checked our temps. I signed the paperwork. Everyone was masked up. And then it was time to hand over my children.

Matty took it like a champ. He was so excited to be back at school with his little friends. He was good to go with his Paw Patrol backpack and Ninjago lunchbox. 

Anna didn’t know what to make of it. She is seventeen months old. Do you know how many of those months she has spent at home with Mommy? Seventeen.

But it was time. Time to let her go where I couldn’t go. Seventeen months just seemed too young for that kind of milestone moment. Hence the frustration.

I handed her backpack, some diapers, a lunchbox, and sippy cup over to the director of the school. And then it was time to hand over Anna. She was stoic. She obviously didn’t understand what was going on. She didn’t react emotionally. Not like I wanted to. But she didn’t want me to hand her over either. She held on to Dad. She held on to the familiar. Familiar is comfortable.

Our frustrations will often stymie the next step forward. Even when we know one simple step could take us from comfortable to something better. It’s usually just one step. For you, and for the one needing you to make a move. I didn’t know what to do.

And then sweet little Matty stepped in. My rowdy, hyper, rough-and-tumble three year old said, “I take you, Sissy.” As he grabbed her by the hand and bravely walked her through the front door.

The moment wasn’t lost on me. My decisive nature is quick to lean hard toward the solutions I like, and bow up at the ones that irritate me. Sometimes reality yanks the choice away.

When frustration hits big and you don’t know how to handle what’s important you need help. You need a hand. I know I did. But you don’t just need a hand. You need a hand-off.

You might need a friend to meet you halfway and help you carry some stuff. Maybe you need a loved one to just pick up the phone. Or, perhaps you need the innocence of a three year old to take his sister by the hand.

Whatever your frustration, don’t let the circumstances make you overlook the opportunity. Take a hand when you need one. Give a hand as often as possible. Handing off what’s got your goat will help you take your next step forward. Probably the one that will untangle your agitations. Do it.

You might not even know what the hand you need looks like. For me, it’s my faith. The providence of a friend with good timing. Or, the certainty of something more than imagination can muster. Faith is good at steadying me in the midst of frustration.

Handing off frustration to faith doesn’t make me weak to reality. It makes me better at trusting God.

I’m thankful for big faith. And I’m equally thankful for the small hands that remind me. Not everything has to be epic. Sometimes God will simply show up and say, “I’ll take you.” He’ll even do it through a three year old.

Hand off your frustrations. You don’t need them anymore. Emptying your hands of frustrations will free them up for whatever help God sends your direction. I don’t know what it will look like for you. I only know he’ll do it. When he does—just go. Take the hand that’s offered. Let faith in something better lead all of the important stuff in your life. It will take you somewhere you’d never go on your own.

Would you let us know what’s been frustrating you lately? Maybe we can help? And if you think someone in your circle could use some help handing off their own frustrations please consider sharing this with them.

You Can Jump

I stood on the edge in the hot summer sun. The water I was covered in gathered around my hands which gripped the rails behind me ever so tightly. The rest dripped fifteen or so feet to splash into the pool below. My breath seemed to have stopped. Time too as my friends and family below looked on.

“Jump!” Someone shouted. I did. Gravity reached up and plucked my ten-year-old frame from the sky, jerking me into the waters below at a speed alien to me. SPLASH!

I found my footing at the bottom of the pool, kicked to the surface, and broke the bubbling surface with the ferocity of a lunging reptile to the cheers of everyone. Actually, I don’t think anyone cheered except my mom. Everyone else remarked on how long it took for me to stop peeing my pants and let go of the rail.

It wouldn’t be the last time I would jump. It wouldn’t be the highest thing I would jump from either. Nearly three decades later I’m still jumping.

These days the pool side balconies of my youth have been replaced by high dives and high cliffs. Gravity still plucks me from the sky. The water still whips into a frenetic froth upon entry. And the exclamations of my companions is a mixed bag of “attaboys” and indifference.

I’m ok with that. I don’t jump for them. I jump for me.

I’m not a daredevil. I never have been. I like to have fun, but my fun is usually of the measured and calculated variety.

I don’t jump to impress anyone. I don’t jump to feel like I’m flying. I jump because I’m afraid.

When I reach the top of some high place I have already decided I am going to jump, and so I do it. Not because I’m brave, but because I am not brave. I jump because I’ve made a promise with myself to never again let fear hijack my life.

I say “never again” because there have been plenty of times I did let fear hold me back. There are have been entire dreams remain dormant, unique opportunities pass by, and chances to make a difference spin away—all because of fear. There have been plenty of times in my life I’ve let fear hijack my response. Now, I’m aiming for something different.

Whether its a leap from a ledge or a plunge of faith into some unknown tomorrow—fear doesn’t win. It doesn’t even get to get in the game. Life’s bold steps take bold trust in a good God that knows better than I do what the outcome will look like.

Don’t let your fear tie you down, hold you back, or keep you down. Climb. Dream. Scale. Jump. Make up your mind on the way to the top you will go for it with all of the boldness you can muster.

October 21 - He Trusts God

Matthew 27:39-44

"He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” (Matthew 27:43 ESV)

Jesus was being ridiculed and mocked as he hung upon the cross. Many gathered nearby to hurl insults aimed at Jesus' assertion that he was the Son of God. The unbelievers present saw opportunity to manipulate the situation for their pleasure. They sarcastically threw Jesus' identity, mission, and role in his face. Jesus never wavered in his trust for God.

When you know who you are in God you can trust Him. And the first part of that is simply knowing God Himself. With a cognitive knowledge and recognition of God and who He is to you comes the opportunity to develop an understanding for the implications that reality has on your own life. Implications that can be so profoundly impactful that they anchor your trust to God. That's the way it was for Jesus.

Once you have came to terms with the identity that flows from God to you—mission is only a heartbeat away. Just as God pours identity into you, He also puts mission before you. Mission is the great purpose for your life. It is you cause. It is God-mandated, divinely appointed. A man on mission will find a level of satisfaction and fulfillment so deeply entrenched in the peace of God that his trust for God will be unshakable.

Identity and mission work together to push you to your role. Identity answers who and whose you are. Mission answers what you should do. Role is the practical application of both—it is about being who you are and doing what you should do.

The mob didn't understand that about Jesus. His trust lay in a place beyond their mental or spiritual capacity to fathom. Yours can too.

July 21 - How Many Do You Have?

Matthew 15: 21-39

And Jesus said to them, “How many loaves do you have?” They said, “Seven, and a few small fish.” (Matthew 15:34 ESV)

My son has just started trying to count things. He does it in the cutest little tone. It is just what you would expect from a toddler. The whimsical . . . One . . . the rising action of . . . Two . . . and the excited high pitch of the climactic . . . Threeeeeee!

When Jesus was teaching near the Sea of Galilee and a large crowd had followed him for several days he wanted to feed them. Knowing that they were under provisioned for the trip back to their homes and villages Jesus brought the disciples an opportunity to assist in a miracle that would provide for the people. He asked them how much food they had. They gathered their meager supply, turned it over to Jesus, and he performed the miraculous. All of the people present were fed, and then leftover food was gathered.

I am utterly convinced that God is on the lookout for an occasion to break into our lives and the lives of the people around us in a big way. I believe that he longs to partner with us to see it happen. Not so we can get any of the glory, but so that we can understand and celebrate the results of the miraculous.

However, if we are to be a part of what God is doing it means we will need to take inventory of our lives. We will need to see what is there, what do we love too much, what are we willing to part ways with, and what are willing to offer up for His service. As we identify that which God would use for His glorious purpose we will understand that same kind of whimsical joy-filled elation as a toddler learning to count for the first time.

July 20 - Great Faith

Matthew 15: 21-28 Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly. (Matthew 15:28 ESV)

When the Canaanite woman approached Jesus seeking deliverance for her daughter a very interesting exchange took place. The disciples wanted to send her away because of her persistence. She threw herself at Jesus' feet, pleading for his help and he was moved by her faith.

The Canaanite woman had faith that Jesus would help her daughter. In the face opposition and unlikelihood she persisted. And her faith was met with the miraculous.

I don't know that we can change things based on our personal levels of faith. Perhaps we can, but Im just not sure. I don't think that kind of power lies with us. I believe it to rest firmly in the hands of God. I do believe that God gets a special kind of glory and worship when we persist in our belief. I find that in times of difficulty I sometimes actually feel closer to him as I learn to lean into Him with belief and faith that He will carry me through.

Small faith is easy to come by, at least for me. Not because I am anything special, I just have a lifetime of practicing it. Great faith is another matter altogether. It takes an intimate level of commitment and consideration to invest yourself in great faith. The closer I am to God, the easier I find it to entrust my big stuff to show care.

June 8 - Hands

Read: Luke 9:37-45

"Let these words sink into your ears: The Son of Man is about to be delivered into the hands of men." (Luke 9:44 ESV)

Jesus had just worked an incredible miracle. A boy terrorized and possessed by a demonic spirit had been delivered. The disciples were unable to perform the miracle despite having Christ's authority. The father of the boy was himself struggling with unbelief about the after. But Jesus did what he could for the boy. He did everything. And immediately recorded after this awesome and compassionate act is Jesus' prophetic warning about his impending persecution.

Jesus knew. He knew what he was born on this earth to do. How it would happen. Who the culprits were. He knew. And till he chose to come. Still he chose to minister. Still he chose to love, serve, heal, deliver, and teach. Jesus repeatedly reached out with the tender-hearted hand of compassion, eternal hands of compassion. Even as he warned his closest followers that a day was soon coming when he himself would suffer at the hands of men.

When men are on control there is death. There is selfishness. There is wanton reckless rebellion.

When Christ is control there is peace in the struggle. There is hope in affliction. There is rescue from damnation.

Jesus knew what it meant to fall into the hands of men. He understood. And yet still he chose to love us, live for us, and die for us. Truly it is a remarkable thing when we draw life and live life from the grace of Jesus, the work of Jesus, and the hands of Jesus. In the hands of men were held the hammers that pierced the hands of the Son of God, but by that affliction my eternal sorrows are undone, and by that torment are my troubles pulled down from their high places. Thank God for the hands of Jesus.

June 3 - Laughing at Jesus

Read: Luke 8:40-56

And they laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. (Luke 8:53 ESV)

Jesus had just healed the woman with an issue of blood while on his way to Jairus's house. Arriving at the house he found a crowd of pessimistic and skeptical mourners. They had actually tried to dismiss him from coming at all as they believed her to be dead. When Jesus informed them that the situation was not beyond hope they laughed at him.

I enjoy a good joke. I like to laugh, and try to find humor in things that are sometimes difficult. A dead little girl is not a laughing matter. Neither was Jesus' commitment to minister to the family in the situation.

Why did they laugh at Jesus? Because he spoke with authority and confidence that the girl was going to be ok. Jesus was telling people that a dead girl was going to be fine, that they needed to merely believe and all would be fine. That seemed impossible. It was ridiculous. After all curing someone of something while they were still alive was one thing, but who has the power to make life return to a body that has ceased to function? God does.

Jesus did the inexplicable for Jairus's family. Some of us need him to reach down from heaven and do the inexplicable for us. He can. I believe that he wants to. But if he told us the enormity of the magnitude for what he had planned would we believe him? If Jesus looked at the impossibility of our situation and declared authoritatively that he was about to undo the impossible would we believe? Or we would join the crowd of skeptics and laugh at Jesus?

It's not enough to merely believe in Jesus. We need to move beyond the point of simply believing in his existence and begin to believe in his words. We need to believe in his power. We need to believe that he has our best interest at heart, and in hand. That's no joke.

June 2 - Issues

Read: Mark 5:21-43

For she said, "If I touch even his garments, I will be made well." (Mark 5:28 ESV)

We all have our issues. I don't know what your issue is. It may be something horrible that has plagued you for years. Or, maybe it is something recent that has came up in your life and is horribly troubling. Regardless of the duration, severity, or seeming hopelessness of the situation you can take your issue to Jesus.

The poor woman with an issue of blood was an outcast for years. She was ceremonially unclean from her ordeal. She was broken financially, socially, physically, and spiritually. Jesus helped her. But she went to Jesus.

There is no magic formula to receiving comfort and aide from Christ. For some people he inexplicably interrupts their situation with a supernatural kind of sovereign mercy. For others it does not happen that way.

The bottom line is that we are not in control and that is a big part of the big idea. God is in control. Just as the woman took her issue to Jesus we can take it to him today. We can go fearfully, reverently, and boldly into his presence and present ourselves. He is in control. No issue is beyond God.

Running from the Sleep Monster

When my son goes to sleep he doesn't first stop to consider where he is, what is going on around him, or where he might be headed. If he is sleepy he does one of two things; he either tries to fight off sleep and becomes irritable and cranky, or he just eases straight into rest. As anyone who has ever cared for a small child can probably tell you, they can sleep pretty much anywhere so long as they bypass, or make it through, that irritable restless phase my wife calls "running from the sleep monster".

The seventh verse of the thirty-seventh Psalm begins with this phrase, "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him..."

Often I find myself getting antsy and fidgety when it comes to expecting something from God, but the proper response in such a situation is to simply wait, or rest, in Him. But like so many others, I am often not content to wait--sometimes going so far as to think that I can somehow help God in the situation. What actually usually happens is that I make myself miserable. Instead of resting in His promise, or on His Word, I manufacture a path of my own choosing. I often walk into what I can see or where I can comfortably understand the way that lies before me. This is folly.

When my son finally gives in to sleep it doesn't matter where he is. He sleeps. And He LOVES it, if he can sleep in mommy or daddy's arms. God is not the "sleep monster". We gain nothing by ignoring His call for us to rest in Him. Take a breath. Relax. Turn your anxiety, worry, and stress over to the Loving Heavenly Father who is far more qualified to handle all your cares. Rest in Him.