There you were. Going about your normal everyday life. Sure it was boring, amazing, or terrible sometimes, but it was yours. AND THEN.
And then everything changed without your permission. Your loved one was diagnosed with cancer. Your best friend took his own life. The love of your life shattered your trust.
On the other side of “AND THEN” nothing seems the same. There was a you before and a you after. They couldn’t seem more different.
You were happy before. You were whole before. You were loving, kind, hard working, engaged, dedicated, and faithful. AND THEN.
AND THEN can be a hard place to live.
I’ve had a few AND THEN’s. I’m sure you have too. We are all experiencing a monumental world-changing AND THEN, right now.
In five, ten, twenty, or even fifty years from now you will talk about 2020 and say things like, “I was working hard on this,” “my son was getting ready to graduate high school,” “we were getting ready for our wedding,” AND THEN.
AND THEN COVID19 swept across the world like a bad dream. AND THEN thousands of people died. AND THEN my business foundered. AND THEN I was trapped in my house with all of my painful memories. AND THEN hope seemed to flicker the world over.
AND THEN can be a hard place to live.
You didn’t give it permission to happen. AND THEN it happened anyways. What now? What happens next shapes everything.
Yes, you experienced irrevocable change. It happened on a scale terrible and exhausting. The fallout from your catastrophe can’t be overstated or overlooked. It shaped your everyday circumstances. Your job changed. Your marriage changed. Your bank account faltered.
AND THEN makes us struggle not only with what’s going on around us, but also what’s inside. We ask big questions and the weight of their missing answers feels too big for us. It’s terrible. It’s unfair. How can this be the way the world is supposed to work? How?
What did your life look like after your AND THEN? The most tragic thing is what would happen if we decided to let life after AND THEN remain the same. Think about it.
Right now I’m trying to help people navigate their AND THEN while wading through my own. One friend was supposed to get married two days ago. She didn’t decide her love stopped after AND THEN. Did she put on her pretty dress and walk down to meet her man in front of dozens of her family and friends? No. Will she. You bet. Her love didn’t die with AND THEN.
So, yeah—your life changed big time. You never told it that was alright with you. But it was never going to be alright with you.
As a man of faith I don’t believe for a moment God wished any of us to experience the kind of wreck AND THEN often makes of our lives. He didn’t orchestrate your bankruptcy, illness, unfaithfulness, or even death on a global scale. He loves you too much. He is too good. Also, he is too able to bring a better AND THEN than the one you’re living through right now. What if you let him?
You didn’t’ say “Yes” to the big thing that changed everything, but what if you said “Yes” to the BIGGER God who also wanted the best for you? Do know what would happen? AND THEN God.
You were bankrupt AND THEN God opened a door for a new opportunity. You were sick AND THEN God helped you find the right doctor. You were sad AND THEN God sent a friend. You were without hope AND. THEN. GOD.
Life is more or less a constant series of changes. Big and small, hard and easy, long and short. We look back and see the old through a lens of the new.
When you give grace a shot at your right now AND THEN is just a turning point. So give the best love in the universe a crack at it.
The old things will still be there. Don’t despair. But you won’t have to wake up and shake hands with them anymore. They won’t follow you around through the house like some nasty stray you never invited in. In fact, you’ll only catch glimpses of them from time to time. They’ll try to sneak back in. But they only get to change it all once without your permission. AND THEN is a one time thing. That’s why it’s such a hard place to live. You were never meant to live there.
Let God give you the better part of life. The one that turns the page on your bad AND THEN and shows you joy, peace, and love on the other side. That’s a great place to live. I’m so glad it found me.